Same Win. Same Room. Completely Different Reaction
The "of course gap" is the space between knowing you earned something and still feeling like you have to earn it all over again. Two women can receive the exact same win and have completely different internal reactions, one accepts it as deserved, the other immediately starts working to retroactively justify it. The difference isn't confidence. It's identity.
Two women get the exact same win. Same promotion, same room, same round of applause.
One of them is already making a list of everyone she needs to thank, over-explaining the timing, quietly deciding she now owes the room more than she's already given it.
The other stands there thinking, of course, I earned this.
Same win. Same room.
Completely different internal experience.
That difference has nothing to do with how capable either woman actually is.
Both of them were capable enough to get the win in the first place.
The difference is which one believes the win was actually hers to have.
I see this constantly in the women I work with. They achieve the thing, and instead of letting it land, some part of them immediately starts working to retroactively earn it. The applause doesn't get to just be applause. It becomes a debt she starts repaying before she's even finished celebrating.
That's not confidence. Confidence would let her enjoy it for a minute. This is identity, deciding in real time how much she's allowed to actually receive.
I call it the of course gap: the space between knowing you earned something and still feeling like you have to earn it all over again.
Once you see it, you notice it everywhere, not just in the big wins.
In the compliment you deflect.
In the raise you almost talked yourself out of asking for.
In the credit you hand away before anyone even offers to take it.
That is the work inside Inner Compass, a twelve-week small group, capped at eight women, opening mid-September. Six spots are still open.
If any of this sounds familiar, let's talk it through. Fifteen minutes, no agenda.
Talk soon,
Meg
P.S. If reading this made you think of the last time you got the win and immediately started working to deserve it retroactively, that's the gap. That's exactly the work Inner Compass is built to find and close.
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