Do You Need to Get Your Life Fully Under Control?

No.

Look, the chaos will come.

More than ever before, we are isolated. This is not how human society was meant to function.

We are talking to each other less and less. Only when we absolutely have to.

Our days are filled with:

🤖 Waking up — look at the device.

🤖 Drinking coffee — look at the device.

🤖 Breakfast — look at the device.

🤖 Going to work — book an Uber, look at the device, don’t communicate with the driver.

🤖 At work — Monday.com, chat through a system, only talk at the meeting or when absolutely necessary.

🤖 Lunch — on your device again.

Going home, cooking dinner, before bed — it’s Instagram, WhatsApp, YouTube, a podcast…

The list goes on.

Where are the deep conversations? The random connections. The feeling of support. Love. Being human. ❤️

These tools were meant to bring ease into our lives, not add to the chaos of feelings and overwhelming emotion.

We’ve stopped asking for help. Having deep meaningful conversations.

And if we don’t know what we don’t know, how are we meant to find the answers.

So, let’s walk through this together; do we need to bring life fully under control?

No.

The world will not slow down for you. It never has. The inbox refills. The calendar fills back up the moment you clear it.

If “getting life under control” were actually the goal, none of us would ever arrive, because the target moves the second you get close to it.

There’s a line that gets passed around a lot, usually credited to Viktor Frankl -

between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space is your power to choose.

It’s the whole idea behind why the chaos outside was never actually the problem.

Losing yourself in it is.

I’ve watched this play out over and over with the women I work with. The ones who make the most lasting changes aren’t the ones who finally got life under control.

They’re the ones who stopped letting the chaos outside decide how they felt inside.

That’s a different skill entirely. It has nothing to do with your calendar.

There’s usually one place this shows up clearest

The conversation you keep not having.

You know exactly which one. And you’ve got a good reason why you haven’t had it yet. It’s not the right time. They won’t take it well. It’ll probably sort itself out on its own.

Those are the excuses, and I don’t say that to be harsh, because I’ve used every one of them myself. But something else is running underneath those excuses, and it isn’t more information you’re missing. You already know what you’d say. You’ve probably rehearsed it in the shower.

What’s actually missing is the space. The space between what happens to you and how you choose to respond to it. That gap is small, and it’s easy to skip right over it when you’re moving fast. But it’s the whole of the work.

Not performance. The real thing.

I’ll tell you something I could shout from the top of a hill. The inner work isn’t about becoming more confident, at least not in the way that word usually gets used. It’s not confidence performed for a room, not the version of you that’s managing how she comes across before she’s even finished the sentence.

It’s the version of you that’s settled. Present. No longer negotiating with herself about whether it’s safe to take up space.

That version is the most attractive thing you’ll ever put on. Not because she’s trying to be. Because she’s stopped trying, and that’s what people actually notice.

Where this goes next

I taught this live a few weeks ago and took a group of women through the process. It’s free. DM me and I’ll send it to you.

- Meg